what a tough days i had. sigh. i don't understand why my mom can't be like other's mom. Oh God, i'm not trying to be ungrateful for having a mother. i DO grateful to have a mother. but why? she can't understand what i want. she don't even bother to know what i want and what i want to be. i have had enough with those dramas that played around this house. i've got an opportunity to enter MSU to futher my studies and i've got the course that i wanted. but why? she seems unhappy and still saying that "we will try to apply on UITM". stop it. i won't go there if i got the course that i don't want. or else she wants me end up not studying at all? why why why? i'm wandering why she acts like that? am i her daughter or not? can't she treats me well than that?
i fought again with her just now, just because i can't stand with her rules anymore. then she said," if you don't follow my words, then go kill yourself. i don't care". Oh My, i was hurted by those words. i couldn't believe that she would say that. she even said that she wouldn't send me to any universities if i act beyond her rules. she called my dad and talked bad things about me, and daddy called me later, he said "why did you act like that?" act like what? i didn't understand of what he said at all. i was very disappointed because my dad didn't have any trusts on me. i just hung up and off my phone. i feel like i want to commit suicide right now but i can't. Oh Mom Normah, please understand me this time, just once! i beg of you. don't let me kill myself. or i'll die in vain.
I WANT TO DIE.
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